#WHY IS IT SAVED

[a-gay-poptart]

I have found the best ally

Straight and cis people will say that they are allies, but you will NEVER measure up to my dentist.

Me: "Hey, is it ok if I can change my name on my info from [DEADNAME] to Aspen?"

Random woman that I wasn't even talking to in the chair next to me: "Honey, if that's the name you had at birth, [DEADNAME] is your only name."

My dentist, very slowly turning her rolley chair towards the woman: "Shush."

Random woman: "Excuse me?"

Destist: *closes privacy curtain while staring bullets at the lady*

Me: *pissing myself laughing*

My dentist while changing my name in my info (reminder that English is not her first language, she immigrated from Russia): "There, Aspen, you have pretty boy teeth. Smile and make all girls swoon."

Me not having the heart to tell her I'm not transmasc but I'm Agender, and still pissing myself laughing: "Thank you [DENTIST NAME]."

Edit: Ok, this has gotten alot of attention, but right now my other posts is what really needs attention. I have a few fundraisers for people trying to evacuate Palestine and Gaza, but also a diabetic who needs her insulin shot. Please please please, go to my page and at the very least repost those posts, have the day you deserve and free Palestine🇵🇸

[thebat-musicman]

9 year old Dick: If you’re a friendless loser and you know it, clap your hands!

Bruce:

Dick: Clap. Your. Hands.

Bruce: *clap clap*

———

12 year old Jason: HEY YOU!

Jason: HEEEEEY YOU!

Jason: HEY! YOU!

Bruce: It’s not polite to not call people by their names, Robin.

Jason: Nice try, Hey You. I know my mentor’s name.

———

13 year old Tim: You see this coffee, Bruce?

Bruce: Thank you for making this for m-

Tim: This is my coffee. You are having water. Only people who don’t break mugger’s fingers get coffee.

———

Clark: Batman, your Robins are so polite. They must have been a joy to raise.

Bruce, through clenched teeth: Such a joy.

[kodasea]

Son of Gondor

[adam-scott]

Bend It Like Beckham (2003)

[lazylittledragon]

domesticating your vampire: a memoir

(beautiful high res version on patre0n)

[palarien]

sketched this out at jury duty actually

[misslovasstuff]

GUYS GUYS SOMEBODY SAID THAT SANJI ALWAYS LEAVES HIS RING FINGER OPEN

[lotus-pear]

charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Jason insists on being the bait for a joint mission with the Bats. But the moment he starts “screaming” during the interrogation process, Batman calls the whole thing off and smashes right through the window and into the first thug.

Absolutely nobody is surprised by this development. Except Jason.

[solshii]

i saw this on insta and immediately thought of them

[ID: An animated Scum Villain comic using dialogue from posts in r/ambien by u/LimberLoveMuscle which all feature heavy misspellings, corrected here for readability. First, Luo Binghe lays in Shen Qingqiu's lap as Shen Qingqiu pats his hair, and he sighs happily and says "my wife is soft and i like him."

Then Luo Binghe lies in the Family Guy death pose against a black background and says, "my wife is visiting his best friend and i miss him." Then we see Shen Qingqiu again, and Luo Binghe skips happily across the scene, shouting "my wife is home my wife" in caps. End ID]

[jobycewl]

I believe in the “Everyone is jealous of Shang Qinghua” agenda

[egophiliac]

buckle up lads we're going BACK INTO THE BOOK

[dcxdpdabbles]

Danny: WHERE AM I!?

Tim: My room.

Danny: HOW DID I GET HERE!?

Tim: I will admit that I may have kidnapped you, but it was for a really good reason

Danny: YOU WHAT?! YOU'RE LIKE SEVEN!

Tim: I'm actually nine, but I am small for my age, so I'll let that slide. I took you because I want to make a deal. You need a place to hide until you're eighteen, and I need someone who can protect Robin until he's eighteen. We can help each other out. I provide lodging, meals, and education should you like it, by day and you become my hero's bodyguard by night

Danny: WHAT?!

Tim: Do you always yell when talking or that your normal voice?

Danny: I...look kid I just need time to process. I mean the last thing I remember I was eating a free burrito that somone....handed to me....*gasp* You tampered my free food!?

Tim: Yes. It was quite easy, actually. I normally wouldn't have done it, but I need someone to protect Robin. Last night, he got hurt in the field, and Batman yelled at him. I'm worried they'll break apart soon if it happens again. I will not survive the Dynamic Duo falling out.

Danny: I wont survive being thier protector either! Do you know what will happen to me once word gets around that Danny Fenton resurfaced to fight crime?

Tim: I suspect the parents you're running from will find you but not to fear. You'll be in disguise by night and by day. I can make you my Dad's illegitimate son with fake papertrail. Daniel Drake will have no connection to Danny Fenton or Poltergeist, the friendly ghost protector.

Danny: Oh, and your folks will be okay with that, I'm so sure. Every couple wants to find out the husband has an illegitimate son.

Tim: Yes, they are totally fine with it! I asked for permission from them last night. Mom is excited to dramatically welcome you into the house after she publicly confronts Dad about it. He wants to say he had you with a maid who he proposed to only to find out she had been stealing from the company and used him for his body and money. He said he always wanted to have a romantic scandal.

Danny: ......

Danny: You're an odd family

Tim: Thank you! So will you do it?

Danny: What the hell, why not. I'm tired of the streets anyway. People handed out drugged burritos there. It ain't safe.

Tim: *Squeal* Thank you, big brother! You're the bestest brother in the whole world.

Danny: Don't do that. It's creepy.

[archerdepartures116]

i haven't rendered anything in a while so these three are my victims

[corrodedparadox]

Handposting

[sunderwight]

Scum Villain AU where Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu transmigrate by swapping lives (i.e. Shen Yuan wakes up in Shen Qingqiu's body on Qing Jing Peak, post-fever, while Shen Jiu wakes up in Shen Yuan's body in a hospital in modern China) but it doesn't quite work right.

The system glitches or something and they end up having to jointly time share their lives. Every time a certain moon phase or something (cyclical) comes around they abruptly switch back.

So they spend the entire time trying to undo everything the other one has been up to while everyone around them is just desperately attempting to figure out wtf is going on. Shen Yuan does the skinner quest and stops Luo Binghe's abuse, and Shen Jiu gets a job with a rival company and starts showing up Shen Yuan's brothers. Then they switch back and Shen Jiu is like "it's woodshed o'clock for the beast" and Shen Yuan resigns. Then they switch back again and Shen Yuan saves Liu Qingge's life and gets poisoned defending Luo Binghe, and Shen Jiu creates his own start-up and blackmails his eldest brother about the mistress he's just uncovered. Then they switch back and Shen Yuan gets his brother and his sister-in-law into couples counseling and Shen Jiu embarks on a quest to either cure himself without Liu Qingge's help or die trying.

Eventually they just start leaving bitchy messages for one another to find and doing things that won't cause lasting damage but are incredibly petty. Shen Yuan keeps trying to tell Shen Jiu to read PIDW but Shen Jiu takes one look at his merch-filled bachelor pad and immediately decides that his opinions aren't worth anything, so it takes him a while to actually do it (he is really mad about this when he finally opens the novel and it turns out to be extremely relevant information).